it's a huge cliche to say this, but really happiness resides inside of us, not outside of us. >> here with more on the pursuit of happiness is gretchen ruben, best selling memoir, "happy at home." happy new year. >> happy new year. >> why is it so elusive, happiness? >> it's something we strive for and if we don't get the things we want, it doesn't make us happy, which we expect. things like anxiety, remorse, guilt, fear. these things are big flashing signals we need to change something in our lives. even negative emowings have an important role to play in a happy life. >> when people define happiness, they tend to define it in terms of a perfect life and it can never happen? >> exactly. i think it's helpful to be happier, not achieve some myth iccal goefl a happy life or achieving perfect happiness but thinking today, next week, next month, what can i do to be happier? >> one of the ladies in the piece, one of the women in the piece said sometimes you have to stop and think about what you do have, not what you don't have. i've been through difficult times in my life and often times h